You weren't in my plans, but I want you to stay

If I had to talk to you about love right now, I wouldn't know what to tell you. When I met you I didn't think I was going to reach that much. You are not my type and to tell the truth, you were never in my plans. I have not been good to you, but I think the best thing I can do for you is to be honest and honest with each of the words that come out of my mouth.

You want a life full of adventure, I am more reserved. You ask for the moon and I'm not sure if I live on earth. You would have to be in my place to realize that it is not easy to fight your own demons. It scares me to always see you so positive, as if life did not happen in your world. I always so fearful, fearful of life, fearful of you. I'm not sure what I want and you don't help me much.

Every day I know you scare me, you surprise me and then I wonder what am I doing here? Why haven't i left? And I have no answer. I've been alone for a long time and I don't know how to have a "loving" conversation anymore. You may come to hate me, but this is what I am. I don't demand that you understand me, I don't want you to do it. If you don't want to stay to see my transformation I understand you.

I have always talked to you with the truth. I don't want to be that girl who hasn't fallen in love again. I have come to think that I am afraid of falling in love, I am a philosopher, and I feel pathetic. I'm afraid of getting hurt, of being destroyed again. And although I still don't know you well, I think I can feel things that I had not experienced for a long time. I don't know if you're the right one, I don't know if it's the right time.

From the first moment you thought it would be easy to enter my life but what do you think? you were wrong I am too complicated. I think I have become a cold and calculating woman. I want someone to stabilize me, but that the routine doesn't tire me. I want you to stay, but not enough to suffocate us. I only ask you not to interfere in my decisions, do not ruin what you have already achieved, I want you to be here and although I am afraid of it, I have not retired.

I do not ask you to stay, because I have no right, but if you leave, I will understand. And if for some reason you decide to stay, I'm just going to ask you to take me slowly ...

Thanks to SoyCarmin for sharing this text with us.